Pride and Prejudice - Of Being a Dressage Rider...
Let's face it, there is a lot of prejudice among disciplines in the equestrian world:
How many riders does it take to change a light bulb?
Western Pleasure Riders
Oh, my God, someone fix that bulb, I have to have light so that my silver and spangles all glow to their best and so that all the highlighter on Old Peanut Head makes his nose look so smooth and sparkly. Oh, maybe you without all the silver on your saddle, obviously you can't ride, you can do it.
Oh, my God, someone fix that bulb, I have to have light so that my silver and spangles all glow to their best and so that all the highlighter on Old Peanut Head makes his nose look so smooth and sparkly. Oh, maybe you without all the silver on your saddle, obviously you can't ride, you can do it.
Endurance Rider
Light bulb? Do you mind, I'm trying to get my horse's pulse respiration/hydration levels down to respectable levels. Once that is done, I have another 50 miles to go before I can even think about changing a light bulb.
Light bulb? Do you mind, I'm trying to get my horse's pulse respiration/hydration levels down to respectable levels. Once that is done, I have another 50 miles to go before I can even think about changing a light bulb.
Dressage Queen
Change a light bulb? Are you joking? I couldn't possibly be expected to subject myself to such a menial task. Change it yourself. Oh, and wash your hands when you are finished. The very thought!
Change a light bulb? Are you joking? I couldn't possibly be expected to subject myself to such a menial task. Change it yourself. Oh, and wash your hands when you are finished. The very thought!
Classical Dressage Queen
These things cannot be rushed, but must be approached slowly, with great patience, and adherence to the principles laid down by the classical masters, otherwise the light bulb will not attain its true potential, but will forever be just be a shadow of its true self. Never, ever, use any type of gadget when changing the light bulb. That is an offense to the principles of classical light bulb changing.
These things cannot be rushed, but must be approached slowly, with great patience, and adherence to the principles laid down by the classical masters, otherwise the light bulb will not attain its true potential, but will forever be just be a shadow of its true self. Never, ever, use any type of gadget when changing the light bulb. That is an offense to the principles of classical light bulb changing.
Eventer
Wuss! As soon as my arm is out of this sling broken after falling off at that stone wall while riding Hell Bent for Leather cross-country, I'll change it. Until then, deal with the dark. It'll put hair on your chest. Only dressage riders require lights, anyway.
Wuss! As soon as my arm is out of this sling broken after falling off at that stone wall while riding Hell Bent for Leather cross-country, I'll change it. Until then, deal with the dark. It'll put hair on your chest. Only dressage riders require lights, anyway.
Show Jumper
Why on Earth would I need to change a light bulb when the whole world knows that the sun shines out of my rear. Why, when I release over a jump, the spectators are practically blinded.
Natural Horseman
You must instill respect in the light bulb, so that it sees you as the Alpha light bulb, using "light bulb dynamics" (video set available for $179.00 on my Web site). Once you have done this, you will find that there is really no need to change the light bulb at all, but that the light bulb will, with very little coaxing from you (using patented "light bulb coaxer" designed by me--$99.00 each, for extra $49.99 you get an introductory video thrown in), behave as all good light bulbs should.
You must instill respect in the light bulb, so that it sees you as the Alpha light bulb, using "light bulb dynamics" (video set available for $179.00 on my Web site). Once you have done this, you will find that there is really no need to change the light bulb at all, but that the light bulb will, with very little coaxing from you (using patented "light bulb coaxer" designed by me--$99.00 each, for extra $49.99 you get an introductory video thrown in), behave as all good light bulbs should.
(Shortened from: http://www.equisearch.com/community/lifestyle/eqlightblb3251/)
That really makes me laugh! Why? Because it is (unfortunately) true. Be honest, I am afraid of going for a trail ride as there are no fences the furthest after 60m (so no thanks to endurance, where you ride for KILOMETERS!), jumping gives me goose bumps (imagine what could happen while jumping - yikes!), eventing (Oh My God, no, not even when this was the last discipline left of horse riding - the only positive thing about is the variety of outfits!), I do not even have a clue about Western Riding (I haven't even sat in one of these saddles!)...
I like to be a mixture of dressage queen and classical dressage queen! I like the snobby attitude that they claim we have, I like the dressing up of horses and myself (matching saddle pad, bandages and polo shirt IS A MUST - my boyfriend who wants to start riding now asked me whether he has to buy black breeches as they might be easier to combine ;) ), we love unnecessary bandages because they look nice (we KNOW that they are not needed), we love white fences, white breeches and gloves ALTHOUGH we know that this is definitely the worst color when facing horse's slobber, we even love white bandages and bell boots during price giving ceremonies more and we do not get tired of watching pirouettes and half passes - although non-riders cannot understand why - dressage is definitely the most difficult discipline to attract the broad mass - and freestyle music gives me goose bumps!
It might not be the most spectacular discipline, but to me the most beautiful <3 And off we go ordering stuff for riding at the beach - remember, matching saddle pad, bandages and polo shirt are a MUST!
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| Best thing about riding on a nearly dry footing: matching bandages possible! |
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