The Ideal Non-Horsey Boyfriend

..isn't afraid to ask
Questions like: what gait is that when watching a GP freestyle and seeing a beautiful horse doing passage - you forgive him because at least he is watching a freestyle with you.

Your horse is his horse

...gets the trailer driving license
Even though he knows that the only chance of you letting him haul your horse is YOU falling off at a horse show and being badly injured.

...is not a morning person except for horse show mornings
Having to learn early on that getting up is part of the game - even if it is in the middle of the night for him.

...realizes that meeting your horse is more important than meeting your parents
and bringing treats cannot be wrong

...loves your horse more than you do
And worries when he is in horsepital or sends you texts that you should hug Hafl for him after your ride at night.

...invents new equestrian terms
And is proud of it! Why call an oxer an oxer when you can call it high wide jump?!

...tries to help you with grooming and tacking up
Even though failing miserably in the beginning. How many times Hafl had his noseband in his mouth instead of his bit or the halter over one ear only?

Horse show camper

...tells you that you were great at a horse show
Even if you finished last in your class. For him, you are always the winner!

Walking your horse after surgery

...tells you that you improved a lot in your training
Even though he can hardly follow the movement let alone seeing a difference between 3-beat and 4-beat canter

...starts to ride himself
Even if it is maybe just to spend more time with you. Honor that!

First time on a horse

...dreams of having a horse himself
Even though he knows it will not be his but YOUR second horse. Although I would not necessarily want to have a Friesian horse - look at all that mane and tail to care about...

Sleeping in a horse trailer - challenge accepted!

...socializes with your barn mates
Even though following discussions on horses ONLY can be a nightmare when you do not understand a single term. Learning quickly and doing your homework (i.e. reading horse magazines in secret) is a must to survive!

Your friends are his friends

..isn't afraid of Eau de Cheval
And going to McDonald's with you after a sweaty late night ride. He pretends that he simply does not care that people in the queue step back behind you to give Eau de Cheval some room to fully unfold.

You cannot scare him while wearing your clipping outfit

...loves you in your breeches
even though they make your bum look fat - he has no other chance because he won't see you often enough in nice clothes.

...encourages you to buy the €300 show coat - or that 500th saddle pad

Just because he thinks you deserve it. And he pretends that he can fully understand that it is NEEDED.

...understands equestrian fashion

And that a horse logo on it makes it a) twice as expensive and b) twice as fashionable than the same piece of clothing without. And this is also true when the colors cause temporarily blindness - hey, it is HV Polo - no matter what color and price, you should buy it!

Nice try! A HV Polo vest can never be wrong!

But the most important feature of an ideal non-horsey boyfriend is that he comforts you in your grief after a bad horse show, a bad ride or whatever else can happen in your equestrian life. And none of the above impairs his love for you - or for your horse.