You Are Responsible For Your Own Happiness

Staying positive in hard times is not easy - not even for me, a optimist at heart. Too often I hear people complain and searching for reasons why they cannot be happy: the weather, their jobs, the way the waiter looked at them... Horse people tend to blame their horse, judges, their trainers, OTHER'S horses or OTHER'S trainers. It is easier to claim that you did not win that class because the judge sneezed, the horse was not on the aids (because he is simply mean - for sure), the competitor's horse did cost twice as much as yours. Instead of seeing something positive in every performance, in every moment, people cannot stop looking for the bad and the ugly. Going shopping, you always have the feeling that you chose the longest queue, that right in front of you somebody takes more time ON PURPOSE. And then you are unhappy again. And happy that you are unhappy - because it was THEIR fault.

I felt bad when I told people recently that I am happy despite currently not having a job. I had the best November ever with sunshine every day, almost no fog - absolutely unusual for Novembers here. I was happy to have my horse, to spend time with Hafl. Quality time. Working towards our goals and having great rides. I enjoyed it, was happy for every little piece that fell into place. Sure, I was worried about my future career (OMG what to do with my life) but I did not let that drag me down.

When it feels wrong that you are happy - so you find reasons NOT to be happy - just because too many around you are unhappy and would not like it if you were happy. But it is not your responsibility to make them happy. It is your responsibility to make yourself happy. If you are happy hacking with your horse who cares what other think of that. If you are happy with a result in the 50s because you know that you were able to prevent a result in the 40s, it is okay. No need to feel unhappy because the competitor next to you feels sad about her result in the 50s.

No ribbon today? No problem - there might have been something else during that show weekend that could have made you happy. It is not only that you are responsible for how you feel, it is also that you need to be aware that there are plenty of things around that could make you happy - you need to watch carefully. And do not let others drag you down for no reason. You are responsible for your own happiness.

And so I decided to be happy.

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